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What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent? Mirriam Webster defines emotional intelligence as “the ability to recognize, understand, and deal skillfully with one’s own emotions and the emotion of others (as by regulating one’s emotions or by showing empathy and good judgement in social interactions)”. In my personal experience, while I don’t contest this definition, I have an addendum. Emotional Intelligence is a key part of maturity. Learning it is a part of the act of leaving chlidish behaviors behind, and embracing a more adult view of the world. I’ll use myself as an example.
From the ages of 13 to 15, I was admittedly quite socially awkward. I would behave outlandishly in front of others, such as making ridiculous jokes or saying irrelevant things that only I would understand, often confusing those around me with my behavior. I would interrupt or insert myself into conversations I had no business being a part of. In serious situations, I would sometimes behave comically and make childish mistakes that were disrespectful to those around me. Overall, I could be quite unpredictable and embarrassing to myself, my friends, and my family.
I had to learn the hard way that I did not always need to put in my “two cents,” especially around people who were not my peers or equals. I began paying closer attention to the emotions of those around me so I could better understand what behavior was appropriate for a given situation. All in all, by learning to temper my behavior and develop greater emotional intelligence, I matured significantly, much to the relief of my aforementioned friends and family.
